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Bizarre Adventure of Stupid Idiots [DND]
Forum-Index → Roleplay → Private RP → Bizarre Adventure of Stupid Idiots [DND]
Posted: Wed, 04/06/2025 00:44 (13 Days ago)
HYPOTHETICALLY, what if 3 people, who just so happens to know each other, who just so happens to be wonderfully stupid and idiotic and has a lack thereof common sense all got sent flying into the distance with truck-kun?
HYPOTHETICALLY, what if all three of them isekaid after their dramatic exit with truck-kun and woke up in a completely different world filled with magic, dungeons, and dragons?
Insert, the eldest, the tallest, the smartest of them all who is horrendously tone death and can't run or catch for the love of their life. Well, not that they have one.
Insert, middle child, the yapper in peaceful disguise. While she may be colorblind, she does have a beautiful, gorgeous beard that looks like it came from party city that everyone swoons over.
Insert, the youngest, the self-proclaimed coolest, chilliest and the shortest of them all. Nothing but internet access and stop her from disappearing. Especially from the horrifying beast, known as cheese.
These auspicious folks are now tasked with the journey to travel through the magical land of Lacigam and defeat the big bag dragon before they could return home with a second chance of life! Can they do it? Or will they end up being croaked?
Roll the d20 to find out!
ps: to all my other fellow friends and strangers, if you can't tell, this is meant to be stupid and ironic lol
Posted: Wed, 04/06/2025 00:47 (13 Days ago)
"–AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
Was the last thing on April's glorious mind before she was hit tragically by a big fat truck-kun.
However when she opened her eyes and saw her unfamiliar surroundings that was definitely not heaven, as well as the 2 other very familiar figures (who were similarly fainted) sprawled out beside her, April almost didn't notice the little system blinking in from of her face.
"Yooo wtf, I'm a bard?!"
Posted: Wed, 04/06/2025 02:51 (13 Days ago)
“MOM LOOK AT ME IM FLYINNNNNNNNNNNNG” she screamed with a large smile burning across her face.
However, this stupid, little child didn’t notice that a…
MAGICAL MYSTERIOUS DEFINITELY NOT ZOMBIELAND SAGA TRUCK-KUN WAS FLYING AT HER DIRECTLY FROM THE ROAD
as she hopped.
Being a hyperactive and dramatic little younglin’ she didn’t notice the truck heading straight for her pogo-stick.
Then…
BADOOM CRASH CLANG BLOODY FUCKING HELL MERLINS BEARD WHAT THE FUCK AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Eyes shot open, Royal jolted up higher than Hinata Shouyou could jump.
“WHAT IN THE FUCKING HELL”
After a few seconds of illegible screaming and vulgar profanities, she looked around, and noticed an ✨ ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY BEAUTIFUL WHITE BEARD ✨ dangling from her chin.
She stroked it, sensing the wisdom rushing into her veins.
‘Why… I certainly have Merlin’s bloody beard, eh?’ she thought, stroking it pensively, failing to notice that VENTI THE DRUNKEN TWINK BARD (aka old man pa) was right by her and probably concerned by the amount of rizz she gave off with her beard.
I…
WILL BECOME…
THE ONE AND ONLY…
SEÑOR RIZZY
✿ Where there are bees there are flowers ✿
✿ And wherever there are flowers, there is new life and hope ✿
✿ And wherever there is new life and hope, there is love, and someone there ✿
❀𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼𖥧𖤣❀
Posted: Wed, 04/06/2025 06:32 (13 Days ago)
Truck-kun however, decided that she, most definitely, may not have a good day. As she crossed the street, the truck hurtled at her, charging like a stampeding boar, roaring included.
Mew turned to look to her side. Spotting the truck and yet didn’t move because stupidity exists. Her brain was working to think of a cool one liner before she met her demise.
As Truck-kun slammed into her, sending her flying, she sang.
“I believe i can flyyyyyyyyyyyy-“
And then she flopped onto the floor, last thought being the bliss of not having to do her exams anymore.
Blinking, Mew found herself laying spread eagle on the grass. Oh no, grass, touching grass, one of her many weaknesses! (which may or may not include cheese)
There was a very questionable old grandparent next to her. A wizard looking person with a beard that did not detract from the bald spot in their hair. And a twink looking person. Interesting…?
Mew got up, confused.
“Holy shit. I got out of doing exams. Fuck yeah.”
She started spinning in a circle in joy.
Posted: Wed, 04/06/2025 15:40 (13 Days ago)
The smile that was upon Bardpril shattered upon witnessing the strange scene in front of her. W-was that Royal with a... Party city beard!? Is that Mew... I-is she having an episode??
"Hol up folks. Let's chillax I won't question what in the frickity fuck is going on but look! We all died and now has a system! Isn't that fun! We're dead! Yay!"
At the same time, the narrator smacks their lips and flips the page. In the next following scene, the trio must head to the village and gather supplies for their arduous mission they will soon take on.
Which is.. to defeat a slime in the open field in route 4.
A similar message was displayed on the system for each of the dumbasses.
Posted: Wed, 04/06/2025 15:54 (13 Days ago)
“I… Hath unlocked… the secrets of the universe!!!! MUAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH”
Mew spun around and around and around and around and around. Until she flipped on the floor for like three minutes straight of being dizzy.
“Ok but like… if we go to village. Can I steal from people.”
Mew sat up a few moments later. And glanced from Bardpril to Señor Rizzy. She stared intently at Rizzy’s beard. Very. Intently. And proceeded to prepare to jump on Señor Rizzy to attack the beard. The glorious, luscious, beautiful sentient looking, holy, vibrant, gorgeous, wonderful, etc… beard.
“THE BEARD. IS IT NOT FAKE??? GIMME THE BEARD I WANT TO TRY THE BEARD AAAAHHAHAHAHRGGHHGHH”
Completely ignoring the very sensible suggestion which had been provided by Bardpril.
(This is out of character but funny)
Posted: Wed, 04/06/2025 17:10 (13 Days ago)
Major Success!
Mew lunged towards Sēnior Rizz with fever and despite the fact that almost realistically she shouldn't be able to reach it, she did.
Posted: Wed, 04/06/2025 19:30 (12 Days ago)
Señor Rizzy screamed, thrusting their arms around wildly and all over the place.
“OF COURSE MY BEARD IS FUCKING REAL-
WHAT THE FUCKING HELL ARE YOU DOING MEWSIES”
Rizzy started thrashing around, screaming like a madman with hives.
Their LUSCIOUS DREAMY FLUFFY COTTON CANDY ESQUE GLORIPUS PURE BEARD WAS BEING VIOLATED BY A BRAIN ROTTED MONSTROSITY
“AHDBDHAHSHHSHSH GET OFFF ANDVZHSHRBE MEEEEEEEEEEE
VENTIPA HELPPPPPPPPPPPP”
✿ Where there are bees there are flowers ✿
✿ And wherever there are flowers, there is new life and hope ✿
✿ And wherever there is new life and hope, there is love, and someone there ✿
❀𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼𖥧𖤣❀
Posted: Wed, 04/06/2025 19:35 (12 Days ago)
Bardpril gulped as she stared at the.. erm.. the best way to describe the scene is if one imagines a rat thats somehow got his claws stuck on Santa's long ass beard and is being swat at like a fly.
"...should I pray to God at the moment..? Should I help..? Um."
Roll to help royal
Roll to help mew
Compare values.
Posted: Wed, 04/06/2025 19:44 (12 Days ago)
5 < 17
MEW WINS!
Bardpril breaths deeply, almost looking like she aged a decade. She couldn't help but yearn for alcohol so she won't have to bear sight to the beard thief vs. beard wearer in front of her. But seeing Mew's crazed gaze as well as Royal's equally so if not more crazy gaze... She decided to help mew by attempting to pull Mew off of royal alongside the... Strangely attractive beard.
Posted: Wed, 04/06/2025 19:52 (12 Days ago)
Mew clawed at the beard. Tugging it and pulling it. It probably hurt like hell for The Rizz man, did she care, not one bit.
“YOU SHOULD CUT SOME OF THE BEARD TO COVER UP THAT BALD SPOT OF YOURS” Mew mocked in not yet balding. Grabbing a handful of beard.
“When the sun shines, I can see the bald reflecting. Haha.”
You see, as the youngest, most youthful and dare she suggest, speediest and fastest and most not yet dying of coughs and spine and back pain, she could probably dodge most of the smacks Senor rizzy was sending her way.
Roll for defence against April pulling her off
Roll for Dexterity to dodge royal smacking her off?
Posted: Wed, 04/06/2025 20:00 (12 Days ago)
Roll 1 - Success
Roll 2 - Failure
Maybe perhaps Bardpril was truly a twink, or maybe she just wasn't trying but she did NOT succeed in pulling Mew off her. Though it was a tough struggle, a few hairs scratched off, and Mew herself almost let go... The endeavor continues.
However her luck did not last, as a hit, though meager from Royal finally knock Mew off (not without a handful of hair though).
"YOWCHHHHHHHHHHH"
April screamed as she was flunked off with difficulty.
Can she restart life and make new friends? Please?
Posted: Thu, 05/06/2025 00:24 (12 Days ago)
“ITS FUCKING GLORIOUS YOU FUCKING SHORT DUMBASS BITCH MOTHERFUCKER GO DIE IN HELL” Rizzy screamed, thrashing around even more, not noticing that they had YEETed Mewsies off.
They rolled around the floor, collecting twigs and grass as they wailed over the PAIN IN THEIR HOLY BEARD
“VENTIPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”
✿ Where there are bees there are flowers ✿
✿ And wherever there are flowers, there is new life and hope ✿
✿ And wherever there is new life and hope, there is love, and someone there ✿
❀𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼𖥧𖤣❀
Posted: Thu, 05/06/2025 20:39 (11 Days ago)
“How come you get a cool beard? I want fancy things too… nah actually I don’t want a beard if that means i’m balding.”
She turned to face April. Having not paid attention to anything she had said previously.
“The fuck are we meant to be doing now anyways???”
Posted: Sun, 08/06/2025 17:03 (9 Days ago)
April concludes as she was sprawled out dramatically on the ground contemplating life descions.. again.
Not bothering sitting up, April just points to the system screen that should be floating around their head about 169° north.
"Looky there, it says we need to go to the village and pRePaRe ourselves to fight a slime in route 4." April then points towards the opening within the woods where roofs and smokes of houses peak out. "It seems like the village is that way."
Despite saying that April seems like she has no obligations to sit up. With the most listless and deadpan face possible, she reaches out towards child— no, Sēnior Rizzy and Mew with her arms wide.
"Carry me."
Posted: Sun, 08/06/2025 17:25 (9 Days ago)
"You barely helped me fend off that demented twonky-donkey from attaching itself to MAH BEARD" Rizzy added, crossing their arms across their chest and staring Ventipa down.
Rizzy did that karate thingy where you like swing backwards to jump up and stared furiously at those two donkey-butts sitting on the floor.
"GET UP YA CHICKEN BUTTS" Rizzy cursed, stomping their right foot dramatically.
✿ Where there are bees there are flowers ✿
✿ And wherever there are flowers, there is new life and hope ✿
✿ And wherever there is new life and hope, there is love, and someone there ✿
❀𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼𖥧𖤣❀
Posted: Sun, 08/06/2025 17:29 (9 Days ago)
Posted: Sun, 08/06/2025 22:42 (8 Days ago)
“I am not a twonkey-donkey thank you very much. I’ll let the demented part slide but I am not a donkey. You are literally a balding ripoff of dumbledore. You cannot say anything.”
Crossing her arms, Mew glared at Rizzy while dusting herself off.
“Also. Can we get going now? April, stop being so lazy and get up yourself. You’re not a baby.”
She said condescendingly, despite being the youngest.
Posted: Sun, 08/06/2025 23:44 (8 Days ago)
Suddenly fired up, April started a long tangent about why she wants to be a baby again. But realizing that nobody was listening to her woes of suffering made a tear she'd down from her face.
"...:("
She desperately wants new friends.
Sniff sniff :(
Posted: Tue, 10/06/2025 20:36 (6 Days ago)
"Ex-Cee-USE me (or however the fondue you write it)" they said, making a very mad pouty face.
"You are a Twonky-Donkey and that's your name now," they assigned, pointing to the former Mewsies.
"And you, my not good sir, aren't a baby so get up" their voice lowered into a creepy drawl (SNAPE HEHEHEHEHEHE)
They did a little happy dance and did a lil ✨ Lepercahun (hehe someone at my school spelled that on a poster) jig ✨ for good luck.
ROLL FOR PA TO GET THY BIG DONKEY UP
✿ Where there are bees there are flowers ✿
✿ And wherever there are flowers, there is new life and hope ✿
✿ And wherever there is new life and hope, there is love, and someone there ✿
❀𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼𖥧𖤣❀