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i feel like a disappointment to my family sometimes
im constantly missing assignments
im a social car wreck
i’m always inside
and i’m kinda overweight
ugh does it ever get better?
at this point my lifestyle is like a crash and burn until you can’t anymore, fix the car, then crash and burn again, rinse repeat
i made a deal with my parents that if i get high honors i go to tamashii nations (action figure store in NY) and last night my dad extended that to also getting his old comics (some will be professionally graded) the fine fine print is that i can’t have any missing assignments


less then 24 hours after the extension i gave up. i forgot about a homework assignment because i didn’t get the notification on my phone. no make ups. no way to come back.
i’ve hit rock bottom yet again.
not only that, but im hardly talking to people, i eat too much and none of it is all that healthy, and i never go inside either. i’m such a loser who’s probably dying alone unless i quit all my hobbies and get on the right track. but why would i do that? i’m comfortable here and my brain is wired to procrastinate unless i’m in actual danger or i don’t want to be doing something or somewhere

most of the time when i smile nowadays, it’s either forced, because im alone, or in bed

im never doing anything like this again where if i slip up once there’s no redemption. this sucks.